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Killing Me Softly: Healing the Sabotage Syndrome

by | 11/28/2018 | Creative Living

Today, I want to talk about love songs. Specifically, the song by Roberta Flack, Killing Me Softly.” (If you’re from a younger a generation, that would be by the Fugees, who did the cover of that song.)

And, when you think about a love song, usually it’s for somebody else. Whether it’s a happy song or a sad breakup song, we resonate with the feelings of the lyrics, and we project them out on somebody else.

But for a moment, imagine turning that back on yourself, looking in the mirror. If you are singing those lyrics out loud while looking at yourself in the mirror, could you would you feel the same thing for yourself? And that’s what this post is really about.

When I thought the title of this post, “Killing Myself Softly,” I was really thinking about addiction, and healing the sabotage syndrome and the limiting beliefs we have about ourselves.

My Biggest Self-Sabotaging Behavior

So, I’m going to share a little bit about mine. I’m not doing this out of sympathy or for you to feel sorry for me – it’s just my own truth. The fact is, if I am going to “educate and inspire other people from my creativity within,” through something called The #LiveCreative Project, I should probably practice what I preach, right?

And that truth is, I am a smoker. I have been for almost 22 years. It is an addiction that I’ve always struggled with. On one side of me, I enjoy the physical activity and sometimes the feeling at that moment, you know? But, the truth is, after 22 years it has manifested into physical problems.

I have issues with my teeth and my gums. As well as issues with circulation and numbness in my legs and feet. And, probably, a few emotional and psychological effects [that are the root of the problem, in the first place].

There Is No ‘Right’ or ‘Wrong,’ Only Experience

But to that point, as we are going through the process of healing and trying to live creatively – a more joyful and abundant life – which means facing our truth looking at our shadows and our skeletons, if you will – the sabotage syndrome, addictions, and limiting beliefs. Healing them and letting them go, it’s not going to be fun, it’s not going to be easy. It’s all part of the process.

The really cool thing, when you think about it for a moment (which does not minimize any negative impact that these kinds of behaviors can have), is if we are a spark of Universal source light (or, energy), experiencing itself here on school of Earth in this singular human form, then there really is no right and wrong.

It is no good and evil, it just is it’s just experience. And, when you look at it that way and as you’re going through the healing process, give yourself time and patience to work through these things. It’s not gonna happen overnight, and you certainly don’t want to beat yourself up, because that’s just gonna make it worse.

Do the work and move forward towards a life of joy, creativity, and abundance. But, don’t be so hard on yourself, you’ll get there. And when you’re ready, you’ll commit and do whatever changes you need to do in your life so that you’re stronger, healthier, and happier.

So, in the words of Roberta Flack, if you’re killing yourself softly over many years as you are going through this process of healing and changing, just know that everything is happening exactly the way it’s supposed to, exactly as it’s supposed to be in this moment. Any changes that you want to make when you do the work, it will come, it just takes time.

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Awaken Your Creativity Within

A FREE root chakra healing meditation to ignite the fuel of your creative inner fire.